East coast

So I found out lst night that my middle sister for all of her unsufferble attitude apparently wishes I would move home to the east coast. This is pretty much the biggest shock I've had in quite some time. Normally I'd be peeved. I just don't think my family quite understnds how much I love it in Arizona. I've made a great life for myself. I have a great career that I love. I have a house that I can't just walk away from now. I love the weather.

And yet gaining this knowledge didn't annoy me. It touched me. Who knew my absense has as big of an affect on my fmily as it does on me. Obviously I miss them terribly when I'm gone. Obviously it's hard to hear about when they're all together for some random weekend. But who knew they miss me just as terribly on those random weekends? They have each other. It never occured to me that I'd be missed.

And I think even though I love Arizona that maybe it's still not exactly where I belong. I want to love in a place where the majority of the people think like me. Jess and Tommy live in high-powered Hoeboken, NJ where everyone is trying to find their place in the big city across the river. My mom...well she's just amazing and could make nywhere work but she's most at home in New England. The people in Maine are frugal and not showy. They're grounded and outdoorsy and just a little bit crunchy. I don't belong either of those places. I'm not bound for a high powered executive life. I'm definitely NOT crunchy or frugal and I'm much to showy for New England.

But I'm too educated for Arizona. I have yet to find my intellectual equal. And I'm talking strictly in a potential partner. The emphasis on higher education is a joke. "Oh I suppose I'll TRY college, but who really cares if I finish or not?" Unbelievable. "Oh I ran out of money." The federal government provides money in those cases. "Oh it's not that big of a deal. I can get a good job without a degree." Wow. Excuses. Excuse after lame excuse and why do we end up with? A state full of service workers. And the imports take all the high powered positions.

So do I really fit in in Arizona either? What if this isn't where I'm supposed to be either? I feel like the east coast is too classic for me but the west coast is generally too...under educated...for me.

So where to then? Austin? Too far from the ocean. San Diego? Maybe but would the same phenomenon be there? Reno? Too cold. San Fransisco? Never been so who knows. Maybe DC? I could carve a spot for myself there maybe. But GOD I would hate winter and spring.

*sigh* so here I am. Up for an hour or more at 3 am wondering where I belong. Great.